The Story “O”

Short cuts to Orgasmic Nirvana

The tenets of orgasm, according to Dr Theresa Larsen Crenshaw, author of Your Guide to Better Sex, categorise a large number of women into one of the following:

•   Women who reach orgasm only by one method, and not another

•   Women who are orgasmic only
with self-stimulation

•   Women who are orgasmic only with intercourse

Dr Crenshaw was one of a handful of dedicated female doctors specialising in sexual medicines. At one point, she was the vice-president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and had worked with Masters and Johnson, world-famous pioneers of sex therapy. She also published dozens of scientific papers on sexual problems.

 The way to “O”

In her book, Dr Crenshaw postulated that there are many roadblocks to reaching the Big O (as orgasm is known), but most of them can be removed simply by adjusting attitudes and behaviours. Here are the good doctor’s five essential tips to getting there, anytime and anywhere!

 • Be yourself During sex, stop editing or holding back. Dr Crenshaw wrote that orgasm is a “total body response”, hence resistance or inhibitions may negate your orgasmic responses. She advocated being totally and spontaneously uninhibited with your partner. Placing aside your fear of showing pleasure is a very important bridging step.

• The more, the merrier The more you participate, the more interested and involved you become, leading to more intense sexual responsiveness. It is a misconception that if you save your sexual feelings, you’ll have a more intense reaction the next time around. Dr Crenshaw also wrote that the taboo surrounding female masturbation–that they’ll lose their ability to be orgasmic with intercourse–could not be further from the truth. She said that the more orgasms a woman has, the more she enjoys them, regardless of the method.

• Be playful Stop being anxious about sex and stop working hard at it. It’s only when you are relaxed and have a sense of humour about it that you can begin to enjoy sex. Don’t make the Big O your goal but rather, a bonus destination. If you don’t get to it as often and as fast as you want, lighten up and enjoy the moment.

• Prepare and move your body
See that you are physically comfortable during sex, or stop and make a change. Cooperate with your body. Allow it to be at ease. Be physically active and use your muscles. Sex is physical. If you lie there like a block of wood, nothing will happen!

• Communicate and take risks Learn about yourself and exactly what you want and communicate this to your partner. If things are not working out the way you expect, don’t feel helpless. Use some imagination and ingenuity.

Once you have discovered what you like, there are many different methods of communicating your desires. Hand guiding is one. It involves leading your partner’s hand and showing him what works for you. If guiding his hand doesn’t do it, explain in words what you want and what you need.

According to Dr Crenshaw, if you put these recommendations into practice, you have nothing to lose. At the very least, you’d have found one or two shortcuts to reach the Land of O! • •a